Old Flames, Lost Loves

[~Genie~]

Yeah sam, I did say that. And ya know what, there are two men that have touched my life. I am lucky for that. I cant explain it or expect anyone to understand that. I have been blessed with two men that have touched my life in ways that leave me wanting more of that feeling. This man before I was married, he was always there for me. We had the perfect relationship. I use to pray to God every night, "if you will just send me his love and let me end up with him. If you will just let us be together and let it be in your will. Then I would be so greatful." Maybe I feel so much still for this man, because he is the ONLY man that never cheated on me. Maybe I feel this way becaause I was perfect to my husband before. I was the perfect wife, I did everything. I waited on hubby hand and foot, I took care of him and everything, and what did I get? When I was pregnant with my first child and I was told that my unborn baby was going to die inside me, where was my hubby for support? where was he when i needed him? He should have been with me? Ya know where he was? He was at bars, and he was at his brothers getting high on weed. So maybe thats why, I feel like I could have been happier with this other guy. You cant tell me that there are not SOME people, who have had 2 people in their life before that they have loved so much at the SAME TIME. I love my husband with all my heart, but he and I have done so much to each other. we are working on that. We are still trying. But being made to feel second place as you put it, that goes both ways. Im second to allot of things. Treating someone with love, and treating them as they are first in your life, that goes two ways. I even offered to go to marriage counsseling. you know what hubby says, "Im not going to some marriage counselor so that you and some woman counselor can beat me up and bash on me, and give me shit". So, I have tried. I have even blocked this other guy out of my mind, many times. So tell me, why does he keep coming back to my mind? Why is it for some reason, my mind or my heart wont let go? If you can explain that to me, that would be great. But its not because i dont love my husband. Woould a woman who didnt love her husband and not give a dam, offer to go to marriage counseling??

[This message has been edited by ~Genie~ (edited July 07, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by ~Genie~ (edited July 07, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by ~Genie~ (edited July 07, 2001).]

[CrazySam]

Genie, why is that feeling still there? That one's easy, cause it's an easy way out. Would an easy way out make you happy? FOr a short time, yea, but it wouldn't last. I was married to the female version of your hubby. There were lots of shortcuts that came along that looked pretty inviting. I didn't take them, put everything I have into my marriage. ANd you know what? It wasn't enough, mine crashed and burned. Do I regret not taking those shortcuts? Nope. I can say honestly, I did everything I could. I don't have to second guess myself. Do I think it was fair that I had to go through that? Nope. Am I glad went through it now? Yea. BUt it took a lot of years to be able to say that. And most of those years I was as pissed off as you are. I've been there, that's why I responded to this post in the first place, not to judge you. I kinda think maybe if ya want to talk more about this, it has to be somewhere else though. I think I understand how you believe. And if I am right, then goin through is gonna be a lot better in the long run than finding a way around.

[Blanca]

I come in and outta here ...rarely voicing my opinion....HOWEVER, ...this topic was i think intentionally to be fun and remeber ....people who hold a place in your heart


I do feel that Putting Genies.....whole story On BLAST for all to read here was out of line....I mean dya think she wants everyone to know she left her hubby with son and had a cyber thingy..I didnt know this....and I am sure many readers here didnt either......so my opinion is .....Dont go there

[Blanca]

Oh N 1 more thing.....I love how everyone think they can just tell it how it is...and think they know details of someones private life...how about you worry bout ya own life....and quit being hard on others ..you more than likely dont care about

[~Genie~]

Thank you Blanca! HUGS! Yes, it was meant to be fun, AND, maybe help people find a lost one. That was the whole thying behind the comment, "its a small world and you never know who knows who in this world".
It is basically, those who want to find or look up old lost loves. Thank you Blanca. No, I didnt plan on my past coming up, but ya know what, like I said, no matter what, its to late to change my past now. Sam, i understand what your saying. I am just one of those people with a old flame that I couldnt put out. I have tried and tried. Anyway, I know my husband is good to me. I know how lucky i am that he didnt kick my ass to the curb. I know that the most precious thing, most beautiful thing he ever gave me were my son and baby girl. Yes, I love him very much. I treat him very well. I do everything for him. But enough of my marriage, Im not gonna keep on going on about because i dont have to prove anything. this is NOT what this topic is about. Have you ever broken up with someone long ago, and just look back every now and then and say, "what if, what would my life be like if I ended up with them. Or, do you ever say, i wonder what their life is like now? Or I wonder if they are married. I wonder do they ever think about me. All those kind of things. I would like to find Brooks, and the guys who always hung out with us. Todd Argeimon, Christopher Brizley, jessie Vierra, Jim Orr. Brooks was my love, the other guys were just like brothers. But I wish i could have a reunion with them all. It would be fun.

[The Reverend Dark Angel]

Genie, I know holes in the wall better than I know you... but I'm going to give you some advice anyway.

Don't leave yourself open for these kinds of attacks, be them good or bad. And don't tell everyone in the world your life story and business, you're just asking for trouble to come smack you in the face.

------------------
If the Master does not approve, neither do you.

[*Leo the Lioness*]

*resists the urge to smack rev in the face*.....hehehe

i dont know that i would be posting their full names and towns on the net, but hey, that's just me *G

i have old flames, sure, but whenever i think about them, i don't feel i wanna be with them again.......some of them i have run across through the years and it's usually pleasant, but there's that awkwardness after the initial meeting and catching up......it's obvious it was a long time ago, and things are different now, as if we dont know each other anymore, cuz in most cases, it's true, cuz so much time has gone by and we grew as people

i still live in the same town i grew up in, so i run into a lotta people who didn't move away after college or something......and the only significant relationship that really comes to mind was my old boyfriend from HS, Paul.....i posted about him on my board a few days ago when i realized it was his birthday and i was posting pics of muscle cars *LOL*......i happened upon a pic of the exact car he was restoring the entire time we were together, and while it was nice to remember those times, i had absolutely no desire to call him, even to say Happy Birthday *shrug*

sometimes reunions can take something away from the memory you have of someone......there are certain people who i'd rather have live in my memory, and nowhere else, pretty much to preserve who they were to me at the time

HOWEVER!! *L......there are the "ones that got away".....who to this day, i look back and kinda wish i had gotten with them......i wouldn't necessarily wanna TODAY, but you know what i'm saying

[~Genie~]

Hhhmmmm. Well, honestly, at first. I DID put everything into my marriage. I had decided to put this other guy outta my mind. And for awhile it worked. I got married to my hubby, I DID put everything into it. I put my heart and soul into it. And all I got was neglected, taken for granted, cheated on. Anyway. All im saying is, IF I HADNT HONESTLY tried and put everything into my marriage, would I still be here after 7 1/2 years, working on my marriage? And about the judging? Have I judged anyone latly? NO I havent. I have changed allot, and I just mind my own business these days. So, I don't judge anyone. Besides, Im in no place to judge anyone anyway. I havent judged someone in a long while, and wont judge again, but it's funny how Im constantly judged. Anyway, nobody really knows the whole complete story or details or every little aspect of my marriage. If people did, maybe then people would understand. Anyway, I guess im the only one then huh, with an old flame or an old sweetheart or someone like that huh? Whatever.

[~Genie~]

I knwo what your saying REV, but I just simply posted this topic to try and just see, if there were others like me still wondering about the same curiosities I just posted above. Or if there are others like me, looking to see how an old flames life is now. Anyway, I know what ya mean. I know if I saw a name posted by someone in here, and their lost love was from Georgia, I would try and help them find that person. Basicaly,thats all this was for. Its Old flames or Lost loves. Nothing more, but like you said, when people tend to open up to people, that also opens one up for all kinds of comments and objections, and opinions from others on what your doing wrong with your life, or how you should live your life.
AND people who THINK they know about whats going on in ones life, more than the person who posted. But ya know what, if even one person takes this post the way its SUPPOSE to be taken, then good. If someone else, not even me, finds a lost love because of this, then good, thats all i wanted.

[~Genie~]

Thank you Leo! *VBS* I appreciate what you are saying. And you even got the point across without judging. *VBS* I know hwta ya mean and I would be kinda scared of that too. Its the awkwardness when you do fineally catch up with that person, you look for. As time goes by you grow apart or so much has happened you dont know where to pick up or what to talk about. Im afraid it would be awkward. I even wonder if he still looks the same sometimes. Its kinda like that line from Garth Brooks song, "unanswered prayers", "she wasnt quite the angel I remebered in my dreams, and I could see in her eyes, that time had changed me to it seemed."

[This message has been edited by ~Genie~ (edited July 08, 2001).]